day 22: the soapbox post

2014, Culture, Inspiration, July, Religion

**warning** soapbox post ahead…

ok. i was just going to talk about one thing. but then all these other pet peeves came to mind and well. i guess this is a good day to get them out.


here are my 2 soapbox-type issues that have driven me near insane.

my skin colour / ethnicity does not determine who i am
growing up my parents never allowed my brother and i to use the typical british slang words. not that there is anything wrong with using them, my parents just preferred us to enunciate.  i was always surrounded by my sierra leonean friends and family but i also went to a predominantly caucasian school and church, where i spent a lot of my time. so yes my speech pattern was influenced by my upbringing and my surroundings.

but my goodness i became incredibly tired of hearing that i “wasn’t really black”, i was “a coconut”, “didn’t act black”, “you sound so white” or anything else people tried to tell me. as a child and as an adult.



what does that even mean?

but let me just put it out there…my skin colour does not determine who i am or how i should act.

let me repeat it in case it was missed.


there is so much more to this. and i will probably talk about this in more detail at a later date. but for now i leave you with this:

“to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ralph waldo emerson

on mormon dating and marriage
this can really drive me round the bend.

i mean really gets my goat.

i remember being 22 at a wedding of a girl who was 18 or 19 and getting married. someone at the wedding “joked” that once you hit 21 you were “put on the shelf”. then once you were passed 25 and still not married you were weird / there was something wrong with you etc. etc. there are people that generally only talk to me when it’s something to do with who i {or they} are dating.

what the?

please note that what i’m referring to is mormon culture and not the doctrine.

there is no age limit as to when a person is to get married. if you follow the simple: right place, right time, right person…i honestly don’t think you can go wrong. it is easier said than done for some people. and that’s ok too. it has to be right. for both parties involved.

and even after it is right, it still takes work.

i’m no marriage expert but that’s what  i hear.

so dearest mormons. let’s just stop.

let’s stop judging each other on whether we are married by 18 or 35. we don’t know what God has planned for that person. that is between God and them.

let’s stop worrying about it too. it’s depressing.

don’t get me wrong. i’m not saying we should stop actively seeking {but honestly though the seeking part can get rather tiresome / lonely / annoying and every other negative implication that comes with the single life and dating}.

i’m saying we should still live our lives to the fullest while we’re at it.

go travelling, develop a hobby or talent, surround yourself with positive good people.

share your time. share you. invest in people. make your life full.

guess what? you have the ability to do that.



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