day 5: a letter to 16 year old me

2014, Blogging, Career, Family and Friends, Inspiration, July

dearest 16 year old mariama,

first off congrats on taking your GSCE exams. i’m saying congrats because it was hard work and you made it. you’ll probably won’t be happy with all your results. BUT trust me when i say it’s not the end of the world.

right now you can barely speak to boys. just the thought of trying to smoothly connect a coherent sentence to mr. s seems completely and utterly impossible. it doesn’t seem to bother you so much that you haven’t had a boyfriend yet though. you’re just enjoying being a 16 year old. you love your friends, your family and your life. and all the endless possibilities, all the things you are dreaming about. you’re excited about life. keep it that way.

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i wanna tell you of a few of things:
– in just a couple of years you’re going to face your first biggest trial. it’s going to hit you like a ton of bricks and that ton of bricks will rest on your chest for sometime. it gets a little easier but this will help you grow. and will help you learn how to forgive. this experience will begin to teach you the real meaning of unconditional love.
– the friends you made will stay friends for a long time. in fact, including your cousin, there are a couple who you’ll be friends with for many, many more years to come.
– that girl, let’s call her miss c, the one in the year below who hates your guts for some unknown reason {which we never really find out}, she teaches you to stand up for yourself. she teaches you to be strong in front of a bully. you don’t know it yet, but it will help you in future scenarios.
– continue to be honest in all that you do, even when it’s tough. people will come to recognise that in you and it will play in your favour in your career.
– you skin colour does not define who you are and who you are supposed to be. when someone tells you you speak a certain way or your lifestyle isn’t typically “black” ignore it.
– in 2 years you’ll get to travel to italy on your own. this is where you catch the traveling bug. and it will never leave you.
– boys. some will break your heart. some will like you but you won’t be interested. you’ll go on lots of dates, with an array of characters. it will definitely give you stories to tell. but there will be one, you won’t him meet for another few years, but he will love you like no other. and he will leave an impression on your heart.
– that shyness eventually leaves as you challenge yourself to do scary things like moving to a different country on your own!

i know. it’s a lot to take in. i could go on but i don’t want to overwhelm you. best advice i can give you? be patient with yourself. you’ll have some regrets but do not regret what these experiences give you, they shape you into the person you will become. you will make mistakes, you will cry until are no tears left and you will cry some more. you will laugh and laugh till your stomach hurts as if you’ve done 1000 crunches. you’ll learn that life has it’s ups and downs, but really happiness isn’t some destination you’re racing to get to with your cup of cocoa and plate of biscuits. no, you learn to love those pockets of joy, because they’re worth it.

m.

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3 thoughts on “day 5: a letter to 16 year old me

    1. I’m doing a blog post a day for July and this was an interesting idea I found on another blog. I’m always a little hesitant to share personal things on here but it was interesting to look back on the last 13 years!

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