random thoughts of the day

2014, Januray

mee

// my eyebrows don’t match but someone once told me they are supposed to be sisters rather than twins

// i’m in love with red lippy at the moment **i’m wearing ruby woo by mac**

// the miss africa utah pageant moved from march 29th to march 8th. that means it’s 5 weeks away. it also means i’m leaving utah in 6 weeks. i’m freaking out just a little 

// of all the things i found on the internet this week. this. this is absolutely the best dressed little one i have ever seen. a must look here

// currently watching ‘mamma mia’ with my roommates after a bowl or two of yummy homemade chicken dumpling soup. perfection

// life should be a musical

// my eyes are a lot browner than i thought

 ;imionfev yldkpvs[ csjf809 o[py;ui <—— my roommate just came and did that. i’m leaving it here

// remember that time when i said i wanted to write a book? a title and storyline just came to mind…strangely after watching mamma mia. i think i’ll start

m.

Advertisements

question tuesday

2014, Januray

here’s a thought {and possible a new feature on this blog}…

ask me any question you like. and i mean any question. and i will answer truthfully and as honestly as i can.

i will then share both the question and the answer in a blog post.

you can ask via twitter @thisismymdot or by clicking on the comment box below {or if you get these posts via facebook you can ask there too}.

ready? go!

m.

the gummy bear “cleanse” aka hellbears

2014, Januray

oh. my. word.

i think someone originally posted this on facebook. but i could not stop laughing.

Screen-Shot-2013-10-23-at-10_21_00-AM

it’s the reviews. oh my. the reviews. the best reviews i have ever read. i just had to share my favorite two.

now these are long. but oh so worth the read.

{and go read some others. you will die laughing, and quite possibly get highly curious…i know i am!}

**please note these are taken from amazon here**

enjoy.

Oh man…words cannot express what happened to me after eating these.  The Gummi Bear “Cleanse”. If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy.  If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5.  So good.  Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety…I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose.  I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I’ve ever imagined.  Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare.  I’ve had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence.  Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell…the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited.  I couldn’t stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there’s more.  What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw.  I swear my sphincters were screaming.  It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste.  100% liquid.  Flammable liquid.  NAPALM.  It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day.  There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.

I had FIVE POUNDS of these innocent-looking delicious-tasting HELLBEARS so I told a friend about what happened to me, thinking it HAD to be some type of sensitivity I had to the sugar substitute, and in spite of my warnings and graphic descriptions, she decided to take her chances and take them off my hands.

Silly woman.  All of the same for her, and a phone call from her while on the toilet (because you kinda end up living in the bathroom for a spell) telling me she really wished she would have listened.  I think she was crying.

Her sister was skeptical and suspected that we were exaggerating.  She took them to work, since there was still 99% of a 5 pound bag left.  She works for a construction company, where there are builders, roofers, house painters, landscapers, etc.  Lots of people who generally have limited access to toilets on a given day.  I can’t imagine where all of those poor men (and women) pooped that day.  I keep envisioning men on roofs, crossing their legs and trying to decide if they can make it down the ladder, or if they should just jump.

If you order these, best of luck to you.  And please, don’t post a video review during the aftershocks.

and then…

Before a company goes public, the highest level executives embark on a multi-city tour with their investment bankers to drum up support for the upcoming IPO. This trip is called a roadshow and since the group will typically visit dozens of cities on a tight schedule, a private jet is the preferred means of transportation. During a roadshow, it’s not unusual to visit two or three cities in a single day so work starts at the crack of dawn. That doesn’t mean the group goes to bed early. Every night, the bankers treat their clients to a wild nights, complete with complimentary Gummy Bears and coffee. No matter how hard the group parties the night before, the private jet will lift them off to their next destination very early the next morning.

Just for a minute, pretend you’re an investment banker traveling with some very important clients on one of these roadshows. Now imagine that you spent the previous night “dropping Yogi” way beyond your limit only to be startled out of bed by a piercing 6:30 am wake up call. In an attempt to get your head and body feeling remotely human again, you scarf down some more warm Gummy Bears and at least two glasses of coffee at the hotel’s breakfast buffet before jumping on the shuttle to the private airport. Within a few minutes of arriving at the airport, your entire group is seated and the plane begins to taxi down the runway. At this point you might feel a bit of relief as the morning’s blur subsides. All you have to do is sit back and relax for the one hour flight to the next city.

There’s just one problem. In your rush to get out of the hotel, down to breakfast and onto the plane you forgot to do one very crucial thing. Go to the bathroom. And I’m not talking about peeing. You have a stomach full of last nights multi-colored death bears and coffee churning around your lower intestine at 30,000 feet. But that’s not the worst part. True horror sets in when you realize you’re not on a spacious 20 person G5 with couches, beds, lay-z boys and a fully tucked away private bathroom. No, on this day you are traveling on a six-person puddle jumper sitting shoulder to shoulder with your clients and co-workers. But wait, somehow the story gets even worse…

Just over halfway through the flight, all the coffee in my stomach feels like it’s percolating its way down into my lower intestine. I hunker down and try and focus on other things. What feels like an hour, but probably isn’t more than twenty minutes, passes. We then enter what turns out to be pretty violent turbulence. With each bounce, I have to fight my body, trying not to poop my pants. “Thirty minutes to landing, maybe forty five” I try and tell myself, each jostle a gamble I can’t afford to lose. I signal to [the flight attendant] and she heads toward me.

“Excuse me, where is the bathroom, because I don’t see a door?” I ask while still devoting considerable energy to fighting off what starts to feel like someone shook a seltzer bottle and shoved it up my butt. She looks at me, bemused, and says, “Well, we don’t really have one per se.” She continues, “Technically, we have one, but it’s really just for emergencies. Don’t worry, we’re landing shortly anyway.”

“I’m pretty sure this qualifies as an emergency,” I manage to mutter through my grimace. I can see the fear in her face as she points nervously to the back seat. The turbulence outside is matched only by the cyclone that is ravaging my bowels. She points to the back of the plane and says, “There. The toilet is there.” For a brief instant, relief passes over my face. She continues, “If you pull away the leather cushion from that seat, it’s under there. There’s a small privacy screen that pulls up around it, but that’s it.” At this point, I was committed. She had just lit the dynamite and the mine shaft was set to blow.

I turn to look where she is pointing and I get the urge to cry. I do cry, but my face is so tightly clenched it makes no difference. The “toilet” seat is occupied by the CFO, i.e. our freaking client. Our freaking female freaking client!

Up to this point, nobody has observed my struggle or my exchange with the flight attendant. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” That’s all I can say as I limp toward her like Quasimodo impersonating a penguin, and begin my explanation. Of course, as soon as my competitors see me talking to the CFO, they all perk up to find out what the hell I’m doing.

Given my jovial nature and fun-loving attitude thus far on the roadshow, almost everybody thinks I’m joking. She, however, knows right away that I am anything but and jumps up, moving quickly to where I had been sitting. I now had to remove the seat top – no easy task when you can barely stand upright, are getting tossed around like a hoodrat at a block party, and are fighting against a gastrointestinal Mt. Vesuvius.

I manage to peel back the leather seat top to find a rather luxurious looking commode, with a nice cherry or walnut frame. It had obviously never been used, ever. Why this moment of clarity came to me, I do not know. Perhaps it was the realization that I was going to take this toilet’s virginity with a fury and savagery that was an abomination to its delicate craftsmanship and quality. I imagined some poor Italian carpenter weeping over the violently soiled remains of his once beautiful creation. The lament lasted only a second as I was quickly back to concentrating on the tiny muscle that stood between me and molten hot lava.

I reach down and pull up the privacy screens, with only seconds to spare before I erupt. It’s an alka-seltzer bomb, nothing but air and liquid spraying out in all directions – a Jackson Pollock masterpiece. The pressure is now reversed. I feel like I’m going to have a stroke, I push so hard to end the relief, the tormented sublime relief.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” My apologies do nothing to drown out the heinous noises that seem to carry on and reverberate throughout the small cabin indefinitely. If that’s not bad enough, I have one more major problem. The privacy screen stops right around shoulder level. I am sitting there, a disembodied head, in the back of the plane, on a bucking bronco for a toilet, all while looking my colleagues, competitors, and clients directly in the eyes. “Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!” briefly comes to mind.

I literally could reach out with my left hand and rest it on the shoulder of the person adjacent to me. It was virtually impossible for him, or any of the others, and by others I mean high profile business partners and clients, to avert their eyes. They squirm and try not to look, inclined to do their best to carry on and pretend as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening, that they weren’t sharing a stall with some guy dropping his intestines out. Releasing smelly, sweaty, shame at 100 feet per second.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry” is all the ashamed disembodied head can say…over and over again. Not that it mattered.

enjoying the little things in life

2014, Januray

i  still get wildly enthusiastic about little things… i play with leaves. i skip  down the street and run against the wind.
leo  buscaglia

enjoy  the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big  things.
robert  brault

sometimes  the most happy people in life are the ones with nothing. we can’t lose sight of  the little things in life that should make us the happiest.
ryan  cabrera

there is a beauty and clarity that comes from simplicity that we sometimes do not appreciate in our thirst for intricate solutions…we shouldn’t wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect.
dieter f. ucthdorf

the little things

m.

a pageant? wait whaaaat?!

2014, Januray

yep.

i entered the miss africa utah pageant 2014. i am both really excited and absolutely terrified.

but mostly i think it’s going to be one glittery and exhilarating adventure.

crown

last saturday was the first of many rehersals/photoshoots. i may have sat there and wondered; “what did i just get myself into?” and “wait, i have to answer questions on a stage in front of how many people?” and “i need what now?”.

but meeting the other girls, talking and laughing with them soothed those crazy butterflies even if just for a moment.

hey, we have to try something that scares us every once in a while right? and i think a pageant is a good start for 2014!

miss africa utah, bring it on. i think i’m ready.

MAU

m.

what i’m listening to

2014, Januray

how is it january 14th already? the last time i posted was on the 8th but i swear that was just 2 days ago…

over the last week or so i have been alternating between my iphone and ipod for music. for some reason not all my songs are on each device.

i haven’t listened to my ipod for some time but i was just reminded of how much i love this song.

m.

letting go and more lipstick

2014, Januray

i’ve had serious writer’s or should i, blogger’s “block” recently.

i’ve started, typed, deleted and repeated different lines, sentences to adequately describe what i’m feeling, or what’s been going on in my mind.

the connection that occurs between thoughts and fingertips has been non-existent for a few days. you should see me at work.

it might be partly due to that fact that as of january this year i became a guest blogger on world light review, a thought-provoking blog that covers everything from literature to faith and family, art and music to film and social commentary. i felt honored to be asked to contribute to such a positive space, then i came to write my first all-inspiring post and nothing. absolutely nothing. the founders of the blog have been patient with me, allowing me some time to get my thoughts together but perhaps its the desire of wanting to write something epic and fearing that i will fail is what is holding me back.

a bit silly if you ask me. yet. i. can’t. seem. to. get. started.

this is me tonight.

photo

hot cocoa, my laptop and my thoughts {and shoes} for the last 3 hours.

i’m also freaking out about life. just a little. ya know, deciding on when to move back to england. whether it was the right choice for me in the first place. and dating. oh where do i begin. it’s complicated and not-so-complicated all at the same time. my career? i’m not sure i want to stay in marketing anymore *gasp*. i know. marketing is all i have known for the last 10 years. and what do i feel passionately enough about to switch to? at this moment i. have. no. idea.

what’s going to happen in 2014? i. have. no. idea.

too much? probably.

unnecessary pressure on myself? most likely.

and my brother’s voice just came right into my mind “relax”.

i’m letting go of the reigns and just looking up to say, “ok i’m not sure i get what’s going on, and i can’t seem to make a concrete decision right now, so i’m leaving it up to You.”

i’m a worrier and a little ocd when it comes to planning my life. so when things don’t work out as i thought they would, or as i planned, i get slightly frustrated. letting go is hard, but feels like the right thing to do right now before i spontaneously combust.

all i know is i’ll be heading home this year for sure. i will living in london. i will be visiting new york,  houston, paris, brussels, prague and stockholm…actually i’m not entirely sure about the last two.

talking of which, i will be in houston next thursday and i am very excited to see some family {cousin and aunts}.

you know i mentioned i wanted to wear more lipstick in 2014? i started off by buying mac’s lustre lipstick in syrup. and it’s divine.

Lipstick

it’s an everyday color, which i have been looking for, for what seems like a very long tedious 6 months to a year. i just couldn’t find the right natural/nude color for my skin tone. anyway wearing more lipstick was inspired by meg from the m{squared}story blog.

this blog post is all over the place tonight. i apologize but i’m kind of ok with it too.

here’s to letting go and more lipstick.

m.

day 6: add a new element

2014, Januray

today’s assignment: publish a post that includes a new-to-you element.

i didn’t even know you could embed an instagram photo…so you’ll definitely be seeing more of these!

http://instagram.com/p/a6O_xHsWQV/#

because he is one of my favorites of all time, and texts from this guy are, well, epic.

*it didn’t embed. and i am way to tired to try and figure it out…but if curiosity gets the best of you click on the link and see who i’m talking about!*

m.

i’m STILL playing catch up // day 5: love your theme

2014, Januray

today’s assignment: try out at least three other themes — even if you’re happy with the one you have. include at least one you would never think of using.

i fall under the “i’m already happy with this one” category for day 5’s post.

for this blog i wanted something simple, and caroline was the one that fit the bill. and i love it!

i guess it’s that “simple”.

m.