get real {day 17}

2013, July

share something you’re struggling with right now.

weight loss. it’s the forever battle.

growing up i thought i was fat. *didn’t we all* i was on the netball team with practice at least twice a week, plus games. got involved with field hockey, tennis and badminton. i didn’t eat out much {my mum’s cooking is legit, eating out was nothing in comparison}. i pretty much stayed the same size between the ages of 14 and 21.

fast forward a few years, i was in a relationship with a guy who loved to feed me. and i love food, so i ate. then i worked in marketing at a shopping center. i worked ridiculous hours so was always too tired to go the gym. i also got “heavy” discounts at the food court in the shopping center. bad, bad, bad. i went up a dress size in 1 year. doesn’t sound like much but it was a big deal for me. then i went on my lds mission. loved it but rumor had it, you put on weight on a mission. and i did. i went up another dress size in 18months.

i first noticed it when i got stretch marks on my arms. then my neck started looking all weird. even my mum even pointed it out. in the summer 2011 my cousin got married and i noticed how big i was when we all had to get bridesmaid dresses and mine was significantly larger than the other girls. i almost died when the cashier yelled out my dress size so i could go up and pay. urgh. i spent the next 3-4 months working out at the gym, reducing my carb intake and making sure i ate breakfast everyday. i dropped a dress size. in my mind i have another dress size to drop. i told myself that because i want to get back to that size. you know the one where i thought i was fat. but that was the last time i put in a whole lotta effort.

this yoyoing is exhausting. the moment i tell myself i’m going to cutback on eating my body goes into panic mode and i eat everything in sight. then i feel bad. i’ve literally spent the last 6 months trying to figure out the best healthy eating plan for my body. reading everything online and talking to people about what they’ve done. i should be rewarded with losing a few pounds just for all that effort.

i should also stop pinning skinny chicks exercising on pinterest.

m.

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